I went on a walk this morning that I felt the Lord told me to go on around a lake that sits just in front of a ministry not far from ours. I've never taken a walk around this lake before without anyone tangible so this felt like a brand new place. The further I walked the more different it seemed. The trees have grown, as well as leaves, grass, flowers, and other life without a gardener to take care of it. The only tender there was were gigantic bees and fireflies. Maybe hornets. I don't really know the difference. That's not the point. The thing is the one time I walked alone is the time I noticed there were chaotic, giant, flying buzzing beings that could move way faster than I am able to move. Being alone caused my mind to look around me and become more and more fearful of the scary stuff as that's all my mind could focus on. I have never noticed this many bees before, I have never seen fireflies. I thought about turning around, but decided to keep walking to my destination, straight there, and not let my fear keep me from whatever the Lord wanted me to encounter, and sure enough they didn't bother me. I kept my thoughts on this place I was headed and consecrated my mind into wonder of what the Lord would have for me. Finally, as these trees and bushes and random growth cleared out, I could see there was already someone sitting where I felt the Lord was leading me. I almost turned around again but I felt like He said to keep walking. My mind flooded with more thoughts than the water that was held in this lake I was walking around. My fear of man arose. But like He said, I kept walking. Maybe I was supposed to pray or prophecy over this person. Maybe this person just needed someone to talk to. When I was no more than 20 feet from this place the person got up and left. So it was open for my own dwelling. It was so crazy. So sure enough, I sat down and just started listening for the Lord. He brought me to several verses that I've crossed over since I've been here including "abide in me" from John 15 and "the Lord is my light and salvation, whom shall I fear?" in Psalm 27. It only made sense that when He had me sitting on this bench in a never ending beam of hot sunlight at the end of this journey of scary bees and fireflies that He would bring me on these verses, right? I mean, as I'm sitting there my flesh is burning, transforming into a different shade showing that I had been there, with the sun. It showed I had walked through all that I had feared, outside of the shade and coolness of the comfort of my own home and was now free from anything that was causing me to be afraid and telling me to turn around. Its so simple, but was so complex and questionable while He was leading me and trying to speak to my unresting mind about this. He was talking a lot once I finally calmed down and forgot about all that made me worry beforehand. I haven't had such a verbal conversation with Him in so long. It was like He was a person sitting there chatting with me about what was just happening the minutes prior. Anyways, after about an hour I felt released to leave but He told me to come back the same way I came. I felt a little more confident and joyful now that I had been with Him, and He had brought me through the journey already. I walked a little slower this time, and noticed no fireflies, but butterflies this time around. when I was about to the 20 foot mark from before, I turned around and there was already someone there in the place I had just been. It was crazy. I turned back around, and I saw an orange butterfly on a flower. It was flapping its wings back and forth, while resting and remaining on this flower. It was like it was winking at me, gathering, catching my attention. I stood in the midst of where these bees and fireflies were and watched this flower looking, winged being for who knows how long. It was beautiful, and brought my thoughts to higher places. I dared to think that this whole walk, all that was happening around me, was just for me. The shift at this bench between the two other people was just for me from the Lord, and the journey to and from was the Lord teaching me a walk, a way with Him. Then I doubted. Then He yelled at me from within and told me, "No, dare to believe. This is all for you. I called you out here at this very time so you could walk with me, rest with me, and talk with me. I made this for you. This happened just for you. Extremely dangerous, or just bees, this was a journey I wanted you to take with me to the refiner's fire for the transformation that comes from my dwelling within you. And now I have you here, with me, and this is where I've created you to be. It will always be this way. I will never leave." ...or something like that.
I don't know if you can read between the lines of the journey, but I feel great right now with the God of the universe, the Creator of everything, so near.
I can't even explain this journey except for exactly how it went. This is me sitting on my flesh, for all flesh is like grass and flowers-Isaiah 40, and releasing the beautiful message He gave to me, not to show where I've been, but for His glory. One day it will be perfected. Here's today's rough draft and quick thoughts. Go find your butterfly in place of the surrounding bees.
Simple. Sweet. Jesus.
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