Working in ministry, or more-so when you begin to actually walk with Christ, you begin to realize how weak you really are. No matter how long you've been in it, or how much experience you have with outreaching or ministering to people by the power of Christ, you really are just a child.
There are a couple of serious situations going on around me right now, not to mention the darkness of the world and yoke of the enemy on my peers, that just have gripped my heart. Seeing complete injustice for a child I love dearly, and heaviness and captivity to fear or depression in others I love, as well as several money problems for people I know have me wishing I had the power to "save" them. I wish that I had a way that I could personally just pull them out of the mess, the hurt, the ache, the problem. Its a good desire, I think. I see the problem and I want to fix it so I can see them happy again and free to live, but being right here where I'm at in this situation has made me realize just how little I can do and that I am only man. I have absolutely no power or even strength to deal with it all. Even if I had money or the right words or "way" for the other situations, I couldn't use them properly, or sow them to bring justice, without the wisdom of God.
I was at my dad's this past weekend and for the first time in over a year I got to see my family all together, for the most part, and just hang out with them without an agenda. I was watching my niece interact with my nephew for a while one day. She kept trying to put my nephew's binky in his mouth. She wanted to help. The thing was she couldn't do it just right. So she tried over and over again. My nephew began to get frustrated and annoyed because he didn't actually want the binky. She kept trying though because she knew what it was for and that she liked her binky. She wanted to bring my nephew into the same gratification and enjoyment that she has with her own. Her desire was good, but what she didn't see is that it wasn't helping him in the first place, and that she didn't have the right knowledge to satisfy him. My sister, my niece's mom, had to eventually interject and help her and direct her the right way.
It was so funny how the Lord just suddenly spoke to me. I want to help these situations that have been put into my presence so bad lately, but I really don't have the right way to help. As I've asked the Father for direction and wisdom, I really haven't had much response. He said so clearly, "apart from Me, you can do nothing", which is in the parable in John 15. No matter how bad I ache and hurt and desire, for the good, to see these situations made right for my friends and family, I can't. I don't have any power to do so. All I can do is go to the Father and ask for help. Otherwise, I might be more harmful than anything. It is He who will move, and it is He who's strength will be shown. The ache inside is the groan it talks about in Romans 8. All of creation waits in eager expectation for the glorious freedom of the saints to come into play.
Its like this in all situations. Even with strangers. All we can do is come with faith like a child, to the Father, and hope and pray and seek and ask and intercede on their behalf that His will might be done. The Father knows best, even when we don't understand.
So, I wait now. For these situations, and for the strangers I pray for everyday. Daddy's got it all under control.
