There She Has Hung.

Somehow since I've been here I've lost almost all interest in playing and writing music. My guitar has hung in her place on my wall, silent and lonely, for a few months waiting for my friendship's return. This week I've been hanging out with her quite a bit again, but she's recallusing my fingers, and it hurts! I didn't realize how long it'd been until I felt the ache today from playing the last few days. I guess that's what happens when you put down your guitar and let your heart get callused from bad, nerve-wracking experiences on sets. The Lord has downloaded a couple melodies into my brain though, and I am excited to put them to the words that have been flooding through my ballpoint pen onto paper. These are the first songs I've grabbed from the air between their birth places and my sensing them since I came here. I haven't written a song in this place until now. I think its God calling me to work through my issues and insecurities and pick up the guitar again on a regular basis. We'll see what comes forth as I join these fingertips back to these spiraled strings and sing to these walls, carpet, and ceiling.

My Older Sister Loves Me.

There's only one thing on my mind right now. My visit home. I've missed family. A lot. Probably more than I ever have. I say that monthly now, but the ache hurts more and more. There's something about that tie. That bond. The familiar. The closeness. The fact that you don't have to explain yourself. The fact that they just know you. And you just know them. There's no trying to figure out. There's no guessing when you're too scared to ask. There's just being. There's a freedom there I don't feel I have here just yet. I've missed my Dad, I've missed my quadruplet sisters, and I've missed having my older sister around-not that she is any different or apart from the other sisters. But my older sister is naturally like a wing over me. I miss her especially these last couple weeks. I'm not sure why. Maybe because Mother's day just passed, and even today would have been my mom's birthday, so I'm needing someone to celebrate. Wow, I just realized that as I'm typing. That's probably why I have a gut desire to have that mothering so much lately. That guidance. That protectance. I've been remembering times when I used to crawl up into my mom's recliner and just sit with her all night until I fell asleep. Nothing big, but so special. Nothing beats Jesus' wing of shadowing, but man, sometimes its just so good to have that in the flesh. To crawl under that wing when everything shakes. When everything gets scary. When you hurt. When you're tired. Or even just to laugh. Otherwise there's a feeling of being completely lost. Without that older sis. I'm so excited to see mine. The day is so close. To talk. To cry. To laugh. To do crafts. To stay up so late walking around town, watching movies, and then sitting on the bed talking about who knows what while eating way too much junk food and then getting unexplainably goofy and giggly. And then waking up early and sitting with each other in silence because we're so tired but so at peace. To sit under a tree with art supplies and a guitar and "waste" all afternoon. To sip sweet tea...lots. To have someone to share my stuff with and know it will be appreciated and enjoyed the same way I value what I'm giving. To adventure through explorations. To walk around parks. To sing. To play dress up. To go coffee shoppin'.  To go to a concert. To go walking downtown. To go puddle jumping when its raining. To watch the beautiful storm clouds role in. To watch the sunset. To go shopping. To go simple walmart trippin. To cook. But most of all, to love and be loved by my sisters and my Dad. With thanksgiving. We've all never really been thankful. Until now. Cheesy, but true. I'm in need. There is a big hole that needs filling up!!!! 20 days!!!!!! I'm SOOOO excited. 

Well, that was a rant that I didn't mean to write, but the reason I'm writing is to share what my older sister just surprised me with on the internet. Check out what she's up to. So sweet and adorable! :o)

http://www.flickr.com/photos/erinsunday/sets/72157618420358577/

Well, You Gotta Love That.

We had a conference here this weekend called Keeping The Charge. Going into it I wasn't excited about it at all but it ended up being really good, for everyone, I think. If not everyone, for me. But I'm pretty sure it was good for almost everyone. It was so weird. I spent almost both days working with barely any sleep the whole conference, but didn't feel like I worked at all. A whole night of splashing in the river with some friends and uncontainable spirit giggles followed by a day of good worship, simple but empowering messages, and of course the 3 free hamburgers and 3 free hotdogs (I have a fast metabolism). I think the best part was when everyone left and I realized that I was still there. For some reason God has chosen me to stay in His house day after day and be close to Him. I wasn't just coming for a weekend, but He has chosen me to talk to Him and partner with Him to be used to talk to His people through me every minute of my every day and be near forever-or as far as I can see right now. I got/get to stay. Nothing beats cartwheels, round offs, and dancing to Ryan I. music all the way around the alter with a good friend after the conference while we waited to take communion with most of my shift and then falling back into His arms and resting in the fact that this is my home. Hard, tiring, lonely, stressful, boring and unexpecting sometimes, its worth it just knowing that He is always there unchanging and everlasting, and knowing that my prayers aren't hitting a brass ceiling but His heart..and He hears every word. They're never overlooked and He's never sidetracked from what I have to say. He values me. He loves me. His word is good and His love is good. He is so good to His people, His children, His household. I am all filled up on the food that I've been needing in this body, naturally and spiritually. I feel like my eyes have been opened to a lot...yea, this weekend was much needed. It was just fun all around. That's all.

Favorite quotes from this weekend:

"You are too young to be tired and worn out."-Billy Humphrey

"This is not normal. Billy's not one of those guys who gets up and promotes this kind of stuff. This...is just not normal."-Kirk Bennett

"I looked up and all of a sudden I saw this huge fountain spring up and Kim was sitting right at the bottom of it."-Thomas Blair

"My thoughts are higher. I like your thoughts, but, well, they're different. Don't lean on your own understanding."-Michelle Volgamore (prophecynging)

"If you can hear My voice it means I love you. I love you a lot Kim Sunday. You're in biiig trouble!"-Michelle Volgamore(prophecynging)

"You gotta get scrappy. We have to be a scrappy house of prayer!"-Billy Humphrey

AMENNNN.